Thursday, November 19, 2009

Conservative vs. Liberal

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect & special privileges.

If a black or Hispanic person is conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of Government protection and call a conservative an "Uncle Tom".

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those shows they don't like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it's other than Christianity, of course!)
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.

If a conservative doesn't like a politician, they vote for someone else.
If a liberal doesn't like a politician, they look for 'dirt' to smear them & embarrass them.
If a conservative goes to a rally such as a Tea Party, they recognize there will be others there whose opinions differ & that's okay because this is America.
If a liberal goes to a rally they expect everyone to agree with them otherwise they deserve to be shouted down and/or physically threatened and/or attacked. 

If a conservative  reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended". (
Or reply with complaints reasoning why this is not funny or ironic!)
So....which one are you?

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